“Linda, please call my phone.”
That was Mr. Seidu Imoro looking for his phone in swish office. I paid him a
visit deliberately to get his endorsement on an application form that I was
filling. His not-so -new - and –not -so -modern phone started buzzing as soon
as I called. It was wedged under some piled up dossiers. Whereas retrieving the
phone, I took a cursory look on the screen. Missed Call Linda 69! Mr. Imoro had
saved my name on his phone as Linda 69 since we became friends in 2005.
Graciously, I quizzed why had saved my name as Linda 69 and not modestly Linda.
“You know my dear, I have a lot of Lindas on my phone and for me not to be
confused with any of them, I stored yours like that”. In fact, I didn’t know
what to say to my elderly well-read friend. The words that came out of my mouth
to him were simple. Are all the Lindas on your phone up to 69? Why 69 of all
the numbers in the world Mr. Imoro? And he retorted mischievously “69 is easy
to remember Linda”.
Aside Mr. Imoro, I have had
chance to see my name saved on phones of some of my friends and acquaintances. I have seen Linda Drama (saved after a course I
read at the university), Linda Mando
Broni (hometown white lady), Linda Pivoine (saved after my company) Linda Haatso
Waakye (saved after a popular waakye
joint where we met) and you imagine the rest.
Nevertheless, I also have nonconforming
ways of storing names on my phone and I am sure you do too. Let me confess to
you on how I used to save the name of my on-again-off-again ex-beau on my
phone. By the way, I christened him Laimomo
(old flame). So when Laimomo was all honeyed and cuddly, I
will save his phone name as Lollipop or
Dark Chocolate, or Waapi or Alewa Red and White. Romantic me! But then
again when Laimomo was horrendous and
he was giving me catch –me- if –you- can blues, I will swiftly change and save his
name as Ahomka Ginger (a toffee made
with ginger, black pepper and other spices etc.) or simply Kpakpo Shito (hot
pepper sauce).
Eddie is a computer technician
and a colleague at work. Correspondingly,
he is a connoisseur of women and he sings his own praises all the time. Eddie
met Yaa Korankyewa at church service. It started as Sister-and- Brother- in -Christ
friendship until they started experimenting vigorously in bed. As a cardinal
rule, Eddie will let all his women cognizant that he has wife whom he loves and
treasures. A call came through one afternoon when Eddie was bathing so his wife
viscerally picked it. “Hello. Good Afternoon. Can I speak to Eddie please?”
Eddie’s wife was taken aback. She asked the caller her name and politely she gave
it out as Yaa Korankyewa. The enraged wife of Eddie blurted out at Yaa. “I hope
you are not one of my husband’s bed warmers because if you care to know, Eddie
has saved your name as Yaw Korankye and I am staggered as you turned out to be
a lady.” Wow! From Yaa Korankyewa to Yaw Korankye! What a nifty modification! Straightaway,
Yaa died out on the phone.
Diane the serial dater saves
the names of all her men in a very peculiar way. When you pick her phone, you
will find names saved as Dr. Chimpanzee (meaning he is not handsome), Papa
Dough (the banker), Mr. Club, (they met at a night club), I Go Chop Your Money
(the name speaks for itself), Mr. Ticket (he buys all the tickets for all the
events on the Ghana entertainment calendar), Don’t Pick(it means she is done
with him), Fresh Boy(her latest catch) Paul Facebook (obviously she met him on
Facebook) and host of others. Don’t be surprised if I tell you she has names
saved as _ (underscore), () (bracket). (dot), $, *, £, Hash Tag and Esc on her
phone.
We all save names on our
phones in such a way that we can easily remember them. You choose exactly the
way you want the names to appear on your screen. If it is not too much to ask
of you, please do demand from your friends and loved ones how they have saved
your name on their phones and write them in the comment box below.
Love you all.
Deli.ciouzly Yours
Akosua
Akosua
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